The Malapropos Mid Evil Misadventures of Victory Maiden   (Scenes 3 and 4) 

by Nyctophobia11 - http://deviantart.com/nyctophobia11

Scene 3 - The one where everything goes tits up

 ‘Zap? Ow! What the hell! That Always Gorgeous spell should have protected me from the zapping. Perhaps I need to face my enemy.’

‘One more zap and it’ll be curtains for you, thief with the luscious rump. Oh my! Are you one of those warriors of booty?

‘You mean beauty, you malapropos manifestation of malevolence!’

‘Egads! You’re a looker. I think I shall keep you. Now! Off to sleep, bard of beauty!’

‘I’m a warrior, you… zzzz’

‘Warrior, pfft! Not with those alliterations!’

Scene 4: A Bird in the Cage is worth...

‘Sing to me, my angel of music!’

‘For the last time, I am not a bard! Nor am I a song bird! Or an angel! Or a…’

‘Enough! Sir Rodney was right. Always go with a gag. Why don’t I listen’

‘And what have you done with my sword, you thief! It cost a pretty penny! All that impractical craftsmanship is not cheap.’

‘Ha! You’re one to talk! It’s mine now! Spoils of war and all that. And besides, around here, I’ll be doing the stabbing!’

‘Oh my! You better have a long, stiff, thick sword! Not like those floppy ones they use for fencing! Like a broadsword, or a *gasp* Zweihänder!’

‘Stop objectifying my sword!’

‘Well, they are objects’

‘You know what I mean!’