Other Things On My Mind

Art and Story by DarkStalker1 - http://darkstalker1.deviantart.com

Life for a private eye is always unpredictable but this latest case takes the biscuit.

It was meant to be a simple matter of establishing whether the client’s wife (name withheld for confidentiality), was screwing around behind his back. I have to admit, the way he looks and the way she looks, I wouldn’t blame her. I mean there’s ugly and then there’s UGLY and, man, he’s UGLY!

Anyhow, I follow her around for a few days without picking any dirt up and it’s beginning to look like I’m going to have another happy customer when, all of a sudden she turns up last night at my apartment and demands to know why I’ve been snooping on her. I’m quick to enlighten her, mainly due to the gun she has pointing at my head.

As she begins to comprehend the situation, she lowers the gun and sits her rather cute ass on the end of my bed (it’s a small apartment) and begins to sob uncontrollably.

I sit next to her and take her in my arms, comforting her in a basic, common sense, woman to woman manner but all the time nudging closer to the question I feel I have to ask her.

‘Yes,’ she says in reply, ‘there have been lovers but… they’re female!’

She looks me straight in the eye as she says it and I realise, too late, that I’m lost.

Our mutual embrace tightens and our lips lock together in a somewhat chaste kiss that quickly develops into something far more lustful. Her fingers have ripped open my blouse and her hands have reached around to unclasp my bra by the time we break apart.

I need no more encouragement to shed my clothes and she reciprocates with equal fervour, revealing a body to die for… or to kill for!

As my door bursts inwards I snatch up her discarded pistol and fire at the rampaging bull elephant that fills my doorway.

The bullet lodges in hubby’s brain having found it’s way there through his left eye socket.

As his body collapses in an ungainly heap on my floor, she throws her arms around me and pushes me down on the bed. Her lips plant a multitude of kisses on my face and don’t seem likely to stop very soon. I recognize it as a hysterical reaction that I can only stop by rolling my body on top of hers and planting another lustful kiss on her tempting mouth.

She’s calmed down by the time our lips part… calmed down enough to switch positions with me again and urge me to move higher up the bed. She spreads my legs then, nestling herself between them with her face near my crotch.

I gasp as I feel her breath blowing across my sensitive labial lips and then groan as her fingers begin to ease their way into me…

What about the cops I hear you asking?

In this neighbourhood gunshots are run-of-the-mill! No-one’s going to call this in until I do it myself… and right now I have other things on my mind!


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