Taboo Confessionals: My New Mom

by Jyger85 -- http://deviantart.com/jyger85

I remember being kinda pissed off when my mom told me she was seeing someone new. In my defense, though, part of what made me so angry was probably the revelation that she was seeing this person since before she and Dad decided to get a divorce. At the time, it had been months since they'd gotten divorced, and NOW she was telling me she was romantically involved with someone else. And then, just to complicate the matter even more, I found out that said person was another woman. I straight-up asked her if this was the reason her and Dad got divorced, and she refused to answer, but we both knew the truth: She found out she was a lesbian and cheated on my father with a woman.

Don't get me wrong: In any other circumstance, I would be fine with Mom finding out she was romantically attracted to women. I'm not a homophobe or anything like that. But I'd been trying my best to deal with my parents' divorce for the past several months, and it probably made it a lot easier to go through that believing that there was no one really to blame for it. Now, I knew that that was a lie. There WAS someone to blame.

So, when I finally met her about a week later, no matter how much I tried to be civil, I think the three of us knew that I was absolutely fuming at this woman. I didn't want her in my house. And it didn't matter how nice she was or how great she made my mom feel. All I could think of when I saw her was "You're the reason. You're the reason they are not together anymore, and you have the gall to walk in here and try to act like, what, my new mom? Fuck you".

Well, here's where I can look back and realize what a shit I was. Because yes, spoilers, I DID eventually come around and realize that it ultimately wasn't HER fault my mom found out she was gay, and I was more accepting of her after that. But what makes me feel kinda shitty about it is what started me down that road. Because if it was just the two of us coming to a mutual understanding, that'd be one thing. But...well, let's just say, it didn't exactly happen like that.

Alright, here's what happened: I was up one night to go to the bathroom, and I heard giggling coming from Mom's room. I found myself growling a little, realizing she'd come over in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, like she was intentionally avoiding being seen by me. I wanted to throw the door open to Mom's room and tell them both off. And I would've...but, see, when I got closer to the door, I saw that it was open a crack. And what I saw through that crack made me stop in my tracks: My mom and her girlfriend on the bed, with their faces buried in each other's crotches.

...Okay, before I go on, I just wanna explain that I was a dumb kid. I wish I had a better defense for what happened next, but I don't. I was just a dumb kid who couldn't control his hormones. And I should also explain that I had friends at school who were lesbians and dating, and...well, you know how that is, when you're the one guy hanging out with two girls who are dating, and you imagine what it would be like to catch them in the middle of stuff. So, yeah, fantasies about catching two women doing what Mom and her girlfriend were doing were not foreign to me. But, I'd never, EVER thought of my MOTHER in any of my sexual fantasies...until that night.

I knew I was hard right away. I could feel it against my boxers. If I had looked down, I would've seen it clear as day. But I couldn't look anywhere except at Mom and her girlfriend, listening as their giggles turned to moans, and then the moans turned to groans, and after what felt like a really long time but was probably only like a minute or two, they cried out each other's names, one after the other, and came on each other's faces.

What happened next was impossible to stop: I turned around and headed back to my room as quickly and as quietly as I could, laid back on my bed, pulled my boxers down, and started jerking my penis hard. I just kept jerking it, all the while images of what I'd seen replayed in my head. And I didn't stop until I had semen squirting out over my hand and my stomach and sweat rolling down my face. Eventually, the excitement wore off and the shame kicked in, and I grabbed some Kleenex from my end table and cleaned myself off.

And y'know, if that had been the one time that happened, where I made myself cum to thoughts of my mom and her girlfriend, I could probably write it off as being perfectly understandable and forgivable. Trouble is, it wasn't. In fact, pretty much every night from then on for like a few months, I took out my dick and stroked it to completion, all the while thinking of them. I'd think of all the things I wanted them to do to each other, and yeah, even to me. I even imagined my mom's girlfriend teasing and spoiling me in bed and getting me to call her Mom. And any time I heard them alone in my mom's room when I was supposed to be sleeping, I'd sneak out and watch them. In short, I was obsessed.

The good news is, that obsession caused me to start to treat Mom's girlfriend differently. I was feeling so guilty and ashamed over what I was doing, I became a lot more legitimately nice to her. And the more that went on, the more I started to really get to know her, and start to see her less as the one who broke up my parents' marriage and more like someone important to my mom, and thus to me too. And, yeah, that in turn made me feel even MORE guilty and ashamed...not that it stopped me.

As long as I live, I will never forget the day my mom's girlfriend finally talked to me about what was going on. It was about a month before I was going to start going to college, and she wanted to clear the air a little. I'm pretty sure my jaw smashed through the floorboards when she told me that she knew what I'd been doing for the past few months. She swore that she never told Mom, and while she made it clear that it would NEVER happen, she understood. She even admitted to, when she was my age, having similar thoughts about her father and a friend of his. Hearing her say all of that, and accept me and my fucked-up fantasies, I finally let go of the last of my anger towards her. From then on, I was able to fully accept her, too.

To answer your next question, no, nothing ever happened with me and her and my mom. That would have to remain in the realm of my fantasies. And anyway, I wound up getting something that was a LOT more valuable and important: A new mom. The two got married a year later. I even gave a speech at the reception telling about how we came to an understanding and mutual acceptance of each other (leaving out the dirty stuff, obviously), and that I was proud to call her Mom. By that time, I'd met my future wife at college, and the fantasies I used to make myself cum to eventually faded. But, I cannot tell a lie: Sometimes, I do still think about them, my mom and my new mom, and some of the crazy stuff I just KNOW they're doing now that they have the house to themselves... ... ...especially after my wife figured it out and decided to invite her sister over for a night of fun, but that's a story for another day.